Random Thoughts on Grief Resources in the Midst of my Own Grief
The death of my wife, Rachel, on February 10 this year has led to some new, though not necessarily desired, experiences in my own life. I share these in the hope that they may be of help to you in your own grief experiences or they may be helpful to share with others you know in the midst of their grief.
Bereavement Support Groups: Since Rachel and I had been involved in programs and support groups from the Cancer Support Communities in Pasadena and in Los Angeles because of her cancer, it was a natural and easy transition for me to move to their bereavement support groups. Such groups are currently offered virtually, and it is anticipated that some form of virtual group will continue from both support communities in the future. While missing the personal contact (just like church), the value of the virtual groups has been the convenience of participating in a group without leaving home.
Speaking Grief: Through the support groups, I have been introduced to many different resources for virtual obituaries and virtual memorial services that I would be happy to share with anyone who is interested. These have been of help to me as my family and I make plans for a virtual memorial service for Rachel probably in July. One extremely helpful resource I have found is at www.spreakinggrief.org This includes a most interesting documentary on grief as well as many other excellent resources on grief.
Journeying Through Grief: Many of you may be familiar with this series of booklets produced by Stephen Ministries. I have shared these booklets with many people in their grief over the years. Several of them have written me now and said, "Don't forget to read these booklets you sent to me. They are very good!" I have been following their advice as I have re-read each book in the order suggested before sending it to Rachel's sister. One affirming aspect of the benefit of these booklets is that a Spanish edition, Atravesando El Duelo, has been recently published in addition to those already available in English and Mandarin. More information on these booklets as well as details on how to purchase them is available at www.stephenministries.org
The Beauty of What Remains: As a pastor, I have taken many trips down memory lane as I have read this new book by Rabbi Steve Leder of Los Angeles, In this book, he shares his experiences of working with the dying and their families, preparing funeral services, helping people with their grief as well experiencing the decline of his own relationship with his father because of his father's dementia, and then his own grief at his father's death. The book was written in the midst of Covid-19 and highlights how this virus has deprived us of so many opportunities to support people in their grief because of the lack public funerals and memorial services, opportunities to visit and share meals, or even hugs and handshakes. It also challenges people to think how their lives may be different following the experience of this pandemic. For those who wish to share the trip down memory lane and to think about life post Covid-19, I have placed a copy of this book in our Monte Vista Grove library in memory of Rachel.
If you need more information about any of these resources that I have found to be helpful to me, please be in contact with me.
- Huw Christopher