HOPEY NEW YEARN!

Autocorrect came up with that title. I think an optimist runs that program. -Uno Hu

  • An I optimist stays up I till midnight to SEle -the new year i􀆠,· , A pessimist , . stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

  • Every New Year I have the same question: "How did I get home?"

  • On New Year's, just remember, if your cup runneth over, you've probably reached your limit.

  • Wait a second ! There's another year? Do I have to do it all over again?

  • I love it when they drop the ball in Times Square. It's a reminder of what I did all year.

  • I like New Years. The confetti covers up my dandruff.

  • To kick-start my New Year, I took an IQ test. The results were negative.

  • I resolved to read more, so I put captions on my TV shows

  • I planned to resolve to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

  • I can't wait till New Year's Day 2021. Then I can say hindsight really is 2020

A bonus quiz to prepare for the uncertainties of 2021

  • Why do birds fly south for the winter? (It's too far to walk.)

  • What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year's Eve? (He got 12 months!)

  • What happened to the Irishman who thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year? (He gave up thinking.)

  • What do you say to your friends on New Year's Day? (I haven't seen you since last year.)

  • What did the cat say on New Year's Eve? (Meow.)

  • What should you never eat on New Year's Eve? (Firecrackers.)

Funny, From ResidentsNoelle Gonzales